Lisboa Hotel & Casino Macau : The MacauTripping Review 2007
Complete Review of The Landmark of Macau, Including Photos and Video Walkthrough
I arrived at Hotel Lisboa's soon-to-open south east entrance, dragging my bags past an astonishing array of pawn shops to a well-concealed door below the bridge that leads to Casino Kem Pek. A few minutes of wandering about the extremely low ceiling corridors I managed to spill out into the shopping area near the Lisboa's Mona Lisa Casino and found a sign pointing to the registration desk.
Upon arrival at registration a bellhop immediately took my bags and stood in wait as I treaded water on line at the front desk. There were three people working behind the desk, two of whom had name tags that said "Trainee"... *sigh*. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Eventually a roving check-in assistant armed with a clipboard approached and asked some questions in an attempt to expedite the line. Other than offering a temporary diversion, she didn't really help at all. About five minutes later, it was my turn to be checked into 'The Landmark of Macau' by Trainee #2, the British flag pin on her pink suit jacket's lapel signified that she speaks English... awesome! Trainee #2 took my passport, ran my credit card, asked my room preferences, checked the computer then told me that my room wasn't ready and should return in an hour. This was very understandable since it was a shade past 11am and check in time is 3pm. The bellhop took my bags to left luggage - a space behind the concierge desk - and sent me on my way.
No problem, I can kill an hour easy, which I did by wandering about the hotel lobby looking at all of the statues, carvings, decor and other oddities. I managed to stumble into the back door of one of the kitchens, and nearly barfed by the stench of garbage (eww). I took a look at all the young and very hot hookers that roam about in packs of three, and watched the numbered ping pong balls get sucked out of the keno machine. 6, 16, 19, 21, 24, 39, 43, 49, 51, 54, 58, 60, 62, 71, 72, 76, 78, 79, 80. *Ding* time to go back to reception. I'm hoping that the room will be available so I can write a quick post or two about last nights stay at StarWorld and prepare for my meeting with the folks from MGM Grand Macau.
Back at reception I hopped on the now longer line... 5 minutes 10 minutes... eventually Trainee #2 called me up to the desk, checked the computer and said the room wasn't ready and I should come back at 1:30. Ok. I wandered over to Grand Lisboa and poked around a little, I couldn't go past the metal detectors since I had my laptop with me. With not much to explore, I headed outside to the plaza surrounding Grand Lisboa's egg shaped casino building to find that it's a Wi-Fi hotspot. Awesome! I checked my email and did a little note-taking but Macau's atmosphere quickly took its toll on me. The average humidity in Macau hovers around 80%, sweating is as much a part of one's wardrobe as a pair of pants. Coming to the Pearl River delta from the humidity-free seaside desert of Los Angeles, the humidity quickly overheated me and my body began its standard shut down routine - confusion, hunger, dizzy, short tempered, beat down, jet-lagged, weak and wheezy. I really need to get into my room.
I made another trip to reception and queued behind two people, this shouldn't take too long. Five minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 25 minutes. Fatigued, I took a sip of water from the bottle I snagged from Grand Lisboa... due to exhaustion the water went down the wrong pipe and I choke/sprayed it all over the guy in front of me. It was an unparalleled aquatic display, far better than any water feature in Macau - including Wynn's fontanas del fuego. I apologized profusely as bellhops darted in from every direction with boxes of tissues for me and the poor wet guy I doused. I was embarrassed, and truly sorry, but the heat and humidity had rendered basic bodily functions inoperable. The guy I spewed on didn't take it too well... he was pissed, probably more because his travel partners were all laughing at him. He threw his arms up in disgust while dabbing up the mess I made on him. I'm sure he lost big time in the casino that day, and cursed my glorious gak as the source of his bad luck. Sorry bud.
Note to self: If need to get to the front of a line, make a scene that involves bodily fluids.